It was sad to say goodbye to Stoke, I felt like I could have spent another good 5 minutes there seeing all the sites, but we didn't have 5 minutes to spare.
There were as many hills leaving as there had been arriving, Stoke really was in a big, big hole - hypothetically it would be quite easy to flood this hole and turn Stoke into a salmon farm.
We hit Stafford (we literally hit it with a big pole, it seemed the most sensible thing to do at the time) and Ed dived into Jessops to enquire about a new camera. This seemed like a good opportunity to charge his phone (remember this piece of information, it will be important later). After 20 minutes of expertise raping (I couldn't think of any other way to put this) Ed new the camera he wanted to left Jessops to buy it on EBay. Now you know what they say about Karma, not only is it a cracking curry, but it comes around as fast as it goes around (much like my bum sores).... yes you guessed it my intrepid readers, Ed left his phone in Jessops .... happily charging itself into pointless oblivion; as far as we know it is still there.
Pubs, pubs, glorious pubs, there is nothing quite like them for opening tubs? Feeding chubs? Good back rubs? If you can think of a better ending to that rhythm please email us (don't phone Ed he hasn't got a phone, it is in Jessops). We witnessed the great pub price war..... curry night; a curry, a pint and a packet of pork scratchings for £4.99, no, £4.95, hang on a minute £4.92 .... but the winner is £4.91.... it is great to see capitalism at work.
In tandem with curry night was psychic night, which is ironic because most of the pubs we saw had closed down ... they obviously didn't see it coming. Maybe the local psychics had a short sighted second sight .... They could predict when the chips for table 4 would arrive but not the bankruptcy of the landlord (this has led me to design psychic glasses, for short sighted psychics).
We stopped on a little hill overlooking Birmingham; it was covered in hypodermic needles (sometimes hypodermic needles are like London buses, you wait for one and 200 come along at once).
I helped a little old lady cross the road, and she disappeared into a wood with her rather heavy granny bag (for a split second I felt as though I was aiding and abetting a murderess .....)
Birmingham welcomed us with open legs!
we had a quick turnaround before heading to our Cancer Research tour – Ed will fill you in on what we learnt , but suffice to say we are becoming little cancer experts. We extracted DNA from a strawberry using washing up liquid, salt and ethanol, and we used some pretty hardcore pipettes to find protein markers.
We ate about 2 pizza’s each and then scooted to Sophie’s mum’s house where we helped her do a few odd jobs around the house – like painting the ceiling with our toes (ha-ha odd jobs).