Stars of STV

It was sad to leave Invergordon, it was the first place where people were competing to have us pitch the tent in their garden. Willie didn’t rise in the morning (oi oi) but his daughter saw us off (oi oi – no that doesn’t quite work does it!).

The guy we met in the pub the night before, who had promised to join us, didn’t turn up. I suppose that is a lesson learnt – don’t trust people who have had a few drams , ‘oh Yes, I will get up at 5am and ride a seven seater bike to Inverness, no problem, oh aye, lets make it 3am …. Hey let’s go now’.

We went past a nudist colony ; lots of beautiful creatures laid out on the rocks by the oil rigs covered in blubber – I have never seen so many seals. It was the perfect place to have our bacon sarnies. I put on my pinnie ; a woman’s work is never done ; so I did it instead.

We crossed the Cromarty bridge and then begun the steep, steady climb up, up, up, up, up, up and up some more. It was very hard work, but at the summit we got a glorious reward – a couple of loaves of Bread from Harry Gowe who was parked in the layby, what more could we ask for? (Well as it happens a bread knife would have helped, but hey hoe).

We accidentally got onto a dual carriageway, like you do, but don’t worry , a shout out from Moray Firth Radio had everyone honking their horns (oi, oi – OK boring now).

The ride down into Inverness was quite hairy, like a big brown bear, but Scottish TV filmed us just before we crossed the Inverness Bridge which was great, because it went out on the evening news and has been a real boost

We arrived in Inverness before midday which was a great effort, and meant we had lots of time to play the casino’s , take a Sauna and have a Scottish Cholonic (using haggis instead of water).

We pitched ourselves by the shopping centre, but ‘Action for Kids’ dobbed us into security because we might hurt someone (actually I think they were annoyed we were making more money than them – is that cynical of me?).

At the end of the day we had to say goodbye to Mark and Lee – they were such great company and brilliant support, we couldn’t have done it without them.

I have started feeling like a charity prostitute, picking people up when and wherever we can. We found a guy called Colin outside a bycycle shop and he said he would help us get from Inverness to Grantown on Spey , thank the Lord.

Then we twisted and turned into the hills where we found Chris Swifts farm – about 20 dogs greeted us, and Chris’s two sons who were going to help us ride the following day. We were led to the barn- full of mounted deer heads and stuffed things- that was to be our sleeping quarters- personally I always sleep better surrounded by dead things.

We all had a shower(together) and watched a bit of top gear(together) and then ate the most magnificent dinner made by Susan Swift.

We went to bed up in the eves of the barn and pretended we were in the Waltons, it had to be done …… anyway, godnight Jim Bob, night Dick , night Fanny Ray, night , night ….